For Valentine’s Day this year I plan on handing out ice cubes, since ice queens can’t be troubled with chocolate and roses.
Today I really committed to the whole owning a cat thing and bought a 40 pound bag of kitty litter.
"Yeah...I came home from work one day and there was a grand piano in our living room...then he proposed to me."
“I gave somebody a lap dance, but they didn’t count it because they were standing.” “It was just so much fun watching everyone do these things...” -Random loud talking woman
“It’s a safer space inside my head now. I can just sit still.”
***Someday, someone is going to find me clinging to a bike, riding for my life with a white knuckle grip attempting to stave off a nervous breakdown.***
"I have a large vocabulary. I should use it! ... I am very intellectually smart."
Jordan: "Yeah, can I get a four pack of those Two fuggin Sixes?"
“Where did you want me to put these video files on the server?” “…Into the video folder…inside our group folder…” “Okay, I’ll put them in there.” “...Thanks…”